Sunday, June 28, 2009

Catching up

It seems a little odd to be putting fingertips to keyboard after a hiatus of over two weeks, but it feels like it might be time to do a little catching up.

First of all: Thanks to those who drop by here from time to time, and especially Thanks to those who have e-mailed with words of encourgagement.

Second: a few housekeeping chores. I've written before of my BIL (actually the wife's, but then I can never figure the nuances of in-law-hood out) who has had cancer for a while. Well, now he has been in a hospice care home for about 3 weeks and will likely not see many more weeks, if any. His wife (The SIL) is staying there with him full time as well as the two little dogs who were his constant companions. Thanks to the Doctors and Nurses and the drugs, he is in very little pain but also has very little apparent awareness of what is going on around him. I say apparent because I'm not sure how much his brain might sense but because of the drugs he can't respond to. I've said my good-byes to him and will hopefully meet his spirit again one day.

Third: The damn feet are still giving me some pain, especially in the heels. I'll be making another trip to the VA before too long and will try to get them to prescribe me some good insoles. I've talked to quite a few people who have had similar problems who now have gotten over it, although looking back and knowing now that I've had this problem for twenty five years or so may mean that I'll always have the problem.
People.....if you are not keeping limber by stretching or exercising.....I can testify to the importance of that.

Forth: I missed posting on Fathers Day. To make up for that I'm of a mind to tell you the story of a Father I know.

As sometimes happens hormones can overrule common sense sometimes and a child is born with out what used to be referred to as 'the benefit of marriage'. Some (more so in the past than now that it's become more common) would refer to the child as illegitimate. Personally, I think that if a mother makes the commitment to bear to term and deliver the child, that removes any negative label you might chose to place on either the mother or the child. Because that is a HUGE commitment right there. Not one to be sneered at, but rather encouraged.

Anyway a boy child was born. Quite an ordeal getting pushed out of the only home you'd ever known out into the world of light, noise and confusion. A beautiful child..
.....dark hair with the most beautiful eyes and lashes you'd ever see. And he was his mother, grandparents, babysitters and even the mothers old gray cat. ants didn't love him. When he was big enough to walk out in the yard, he'd occasionally wander in to a bed of those pests and not realizing what was going on would hop up and down going OW! until someone would run over and snatch him up and brush them off his feet and legs.

Eventually the mother entered a relationship with a young man who cared for the boy as much as for his mother. One day.....maybe around the time the boy was three or four years old the boy went up to the young man and asked "Van W****, will you be my dad?"

What would you answer in a situation like that? Not married to the mother...the relationship sometimes a rocky one...some men would start running for the hills. Not Van......with a catch in his throat and maybe some dust in his eyes, he replied, "yes Cody, I'll be your dad".

He has been a great dad. From teaching the boy how to catch a ball to teaching him how to hunt and fish to committing to the mother and working to make them a family, working long hard hours which entails a lot of traveling, he'd call every night and always talk to Cody. They are as close or closer than a lot of natural Fathers and Sons. I know it hasn't always been easy. The commitment once made...has been kept. That's an honorable thing.

You've probably guessed by now that this is my grandson I'm talking about (he's 17 now and driving, will be in the 12th grade this fall).....and his Dad, Van. A man I'm proud to think of as my son.

He's earned the right to the title of Father.


Anonymous said...

Glad things seem to be going well. Like everything else, one day at a time...

Carolyn said...

If all men who contributed sperm that produced children would be so dedicated. Hope your Children were as thankful for you on Fathers day.

Paladin said...

Wonderful story!

I legally adopted my Daughter shortly after her Mother and I wed, over 20 years ago now. I fell in love with them both.

She was 2 years old at the time, and her biological father had passed away. Its a decision that I've never once regretted.

LL said...

That's a great dad, biology or not.