Evening before Father's day thoughts

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We had lunch and a good time down at a sisters house today, along with her husband and another sister and her husband down from VA.
Always good to see family.

Tomorrow we'll travel down to our oldest daughter's home for father's day and I guess all the children will be there. They just tells me where to go and I do.

My father died just after my 25th birthday, a month after his 46th. So I knew him less than half my life and more than half of his life. Plus I had been gone serving in the Army for 6 years, so I could subtract 25% of that. And I had just reached the age when I was capable of knowing someone on an equal level. Sometimes I wonder what things I could have learned had I been more willing to listen or he better able to teach.

He could be a hard man, and seemingly was, a lot of the time. A farmer during the 50's and 60's, life was a continuous round of getting up in the dark to milk the cows and working all day to keep everything including his children fed and tended to. Although much of the children tending was left to our mother except when he needed us to do what he wanted us to. A stern voice and sometimes a boot to the behind or a twist of my ear figured in a large part of my early memories.

It took a little more maturity and adult understanding after he was gone to come to an understanding of some of his ways. And even now I wonder if my perceptions of him even come close to what he actually was. Oh well, in the sweet by and by as they say.

My oldest daughter is now 10 years older than I was when he died, and I recognize how hard it is to let your feelings show through in your dealing with your children.

Much of how we raise our own comes from how we were raised, and unless you are gifted with the blessing of being able to communicate really well with your children you have to have some doubts about how you are doing of did.

My oldest was born when I was 20, and five days old when I left for Vietnam. I saw with my younger children and grandchildren how much I missed of her in that year. And now I can see how that one year influenced the rest of my life. She thinks she takes after my mother, but I think she'd be surprised and perhaps dismayed by how much she takes after me.

My next daughter was born of a relationship I had while my wife and I were separated. I saw her once before her 16th birthday. I'm awfully glad she was stubborn enough to want to know her father. And extremely thankful that she had a Daddy who loved her in her young life because I wasn't there. She is a great young woman and mother of 2.

Our son was born 6 months after my dad died. He carries his grandfathers name, as does his son. Fathers and sons can butt heads, and we did. Today he has two children of his own and I have seen what a good father he tries to be.

Our youngest daughter was spoiled because she was the youngest. In spite of my best efforts she has grown into a beautiful intelligent young woman with a husband and child (which has been featured here several times).

On this father's day I'll be thinking of my father and grandfathers of course. But most of all I'll be thinking of the awesome responsibility and tremendous blessing of being a father myself.

Happy Fathers day. Remember that many young fathers and some grandfathers are away from their families serving overseas in harms way. Take a moment to remember them in your prayers.