He stood

.
Just outside the door.

As I exited the pawn shop after concluding my business with them, he said, "excuse me". I thought I'd bumped him with my bag. I said, "I'm sorry did I bump you"?

"Oh no" he said, "I"m sorry if I was in your way".

As I looked at him I saw tears trying to form in his eyes. A thin small man, about my age, I thought, wiry strength in his arms and shoulders.

"What's wrong?", I asked.

"I was trying to pawn my father's pool cue", he said, "made in Germany, a real antique". "They wouldn't even offer me anything on it".

I noticed the smell of beer on him, and the blue of his eyes were faded, as if he'd drank hard most of his adult life. He had a half empty pack of cigarettes in his knit shirt pocket. And I could see that he was trying to carry himself with what pride remained to him.

"I've been out of work for two weeks" he said, "and I need to buy some groceries for me and my wife". "My rents due, but I hope the landlord will go easy on me 'til I can find some kind of work". "There's no work to be had in this town, and I don't have a car to go anywhere in".

"What kind of work do you do?" I asked.

"Construction", was the reply, "I can do anything from framing to roofing, but there's no work right now, the mexicans have taken all the jobs in this town".

Suspecting that maybe that wasn't the only reason, I asked, "how much you trying to get for that cue?

"$50.00, but it's worth $400 and they wouldn't even let me pawn it".

I'll confess that my first thought was to commiserate with him and go on down the road. I'd just spent most all of my cash and still had to leave a $2200.00 postdated check for a third of the balance to be cashed after labor day.

But the first of the week I had been almost as broke as he with $600 of rubber checks out that I hoped wouldn't bounce. But I'd received several blessings this week, where I'd not expected and my foolish old heart went out to him.

I've seen drunks spin any old kind of tales in order to get enough money to buy a six pack or a few cigarettes. But his bearing and just something told me he'd never pawned anything before.

"Tell you what", I said, "I don't have $50 but I'll give you $40 for it". That wasn't exactly true, in fact I had $46.00 on me, but I figured I might need something before I got home.

Desperate gratitude came into his eyes as more tears fell. "You'd do that for me?", he asked as I told him I'd give him my card and if better times came he could come get the cue from me anytime in the next two months.

To make a long story shorter, I gave him a ride to his house about 4 blocks away. Don't ask me just why. I visited with him a while and tried to encourage him to speak to his preacher about his needs. He said there were others who needed the church and he didn't want to ask. Foolish pride leads to many a fall I said.

I can't say if his tale was true or not. I really don't care. The Cue is up on top of the bookcase where it will likely stay no matter if it's a long while before things are better, if ever, for him and his wife.

We go thru life making decisions all along the way. Whether they are good or bad they lead us to exactly where we are. But too many realize that only when it becomes too late.

I've made my share, so I'll not criticize others for theirs. But I kinda wish I'd let him have the other $6.

Rain on the Kudzu this evening, along with some nice lightning and thunder. Scared the pooch of course, but we're glad to get it.