On their Wedding Night

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I don't remember where I stole the following bit of humor, but it's still tickles me.

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and
asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly
aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30
years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new
clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband
in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he
had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to
find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning,
and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty
years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then
she showed him certificates of deposit issued by the bank which were
worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the
largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than
three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had
multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her
husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his
voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I
would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.