True love

Scammers seem to be coming out of the woodworks and Washington, DC by the thousands these days.

Why just this morning I received an invitation to a relationship by a very nice young lady.

Here...I'll just post her lovely letter to me so you can judge for yourself....

--- On Wed, 4/15/09, helen akubia wrote:


From: helen akubia
Subject: Best regard,
To: concealed to protect the not so innocent, and not so niave
Date: Wednesday, April 15, 2009, 5:08 AM

Dearest,
How are you today?
i am very happy to your respond to the email i sent to you in your address at the site.
I am miss Helen akubia.
Age 24 ft 5/6 wt 59,I from Ivory coast,and live in senegal now.
I grew up in a Respected family with my grandma, mom, and two brothers.I learned early to love and respect mens and to respect family values.
I love music both listening and singing myself. I love sports and movies. I want a partner,

I am not joking i'm just a lonely woman looking for true love and family. I love children.I love ethenic men because you seem so fresh and real.
I am a very loving, honest, fun loving, caring, and passionate attentive lady. I am honest and trustworthy.

I am a one woman lady looking for a one woman man. I am a helpless romantic and in need to marry anyone with true love between us.
I enjoy the outdoors, the beach, active lifestyle, martial arts, swimming, snorkeling, reading, music, dancing and fine dining.

I know we can make future from here,and tell me what you think about this,i will like you to tell me more about your self and send me your picture ok,
i will sending you love tonight and in my dreams as you lay sleeping I drift down softly kiss your lips and lie down beside you and drift away in your arms.And i will like to know more about you,
i will send my picture i will sent to you,awaiting for your reply
Sincerely,
My Prince
Yours,
Helen.


As you might imagine I was most interested in the potentialities that might lie lurking in such a letter. Especially the opportunities to have a big ol' belly laugh at someone else expense.

Please.....any of you lonely people out there feel free to communicate with this young lady. I'm sure the possible comic benefits will be obvious to you.

Herewith: My reply

Miss Helen,
You sound like a very delightful and pleasant lady, and any lonely man would be proud to know you. However, I must tell you that in my experience long distance relationships do not work our for the lonely man because of the distance to which his member must be stretched, as well as his gullibility. Which I am sure you know can be stretched a long way, but what would happen if a band of Somali Pirates attacked while it was strung out that far. It would be difficult to reel it in fast enough to avoid potentially serious damage.

Additionally I am from an older generation than you and it is customary for the brides parents and family to pay the groom a dowry of 2 kilograms of fine gold before the nuptial planning can take place. This is not a thing to be taken lightly and no relationship can proceed unless it has been paid in hand in the grooms country of origin.

Of course all of us here would be very anxious to meet you and your cousins, and if you are ever going to be in the neighborhood, please to let me know so as I can make a trip down to Franklins to stock up for the visit.

Looking forward to your next most excellent reply princess.
Sincerely

Kdzu


By the way....she had responded to an advertisement on craigslist.com where I was advertising a 5 cttw 14kt tennis bracelet.

And she was not the first scammer....just the first to offer to marry me.

Well there was the one woman at the flea market who offered to marry me for a little while in exchange.

I still have the bracelet.