Goldmine Intersection: They should just wait until a little closer to closing time

Sunday, January 14, 2007

They should just wait until a little closer to closing time

From News of the Weird, comes this fascinating little tidbit.

Scamming the Horny Panda: One trick that zookeepers have used to get male pandas interested in mating with dowdier females (according to a December dispatch from Sichuan, China, in Australia's The Age) is to let an attractive female roam around a pen, leaving her scent, and then, in darkness, with the male in the pen and frisky at the scent, to introduce the less attractive female into the pen, back-end first, so that the pre-excited male will quickly begin copulating. Said zookeeper Zhang Hemin, "When the males find out (that they've just mated with unintended partners), they get very angry and start fighting the female. We have had to use firecrackers and a water hose to separate them." [The Age (Melbourne), 12-17-06]

Now ladies, can you all truthfully state before a jury of your peers that your never had a more attractive friend do the trolling for you?

And Guys? Can you state categorically that your standards don't go down as closing time draws near?

1 comment:

Jean said...: No... I have never had anyone 'troll' for me. Hell's bells, MY standards went down at closing time! Another good reason not to drink much in bars anymore...:); 9:52 PM

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Treason

Whereas, on the 14th of December, 2011, the House of Representatives of these United States voted in favor of indefinite military detention, without charges, of any American, anywhere, anytime, without due process of law, at the discretion of the government alone;

Whereas, on the 15th of December, 2011, the Senate of these United States voted in favor of the same bill;

Whereas, on the 31st of December, 2011, the President of the United States signed the same;

Whereas, the proscription against the use of military force to police the populous has been an essential feature of American civic life and civic liberty since the arrival of our civilization upon this continent;

Whereas, the wanton violation of this proscription was one of the chief causes of the separation of the American peoples from their government in Great Britain;

Whereas, the Constitution so chartering the government of these United States does not grant this power;

Whereas, the Constitution forbids the addition of any power not enumerated to the general government;

Whereas, the use of such draconian measures has been an essential feature of the enforcement of tyranny by totalitarian governments of the 20th century, including, but not limited to, the Nationalist-Socialist government of Germany, the fascist government of Italy, the government of the United Soviet Socialist Republics, and the government of Vietnam;

Whereas, the use of such draconian measures is carefully calculated to quash all political dissent amongst a captive people;

Whereas, the codification of such draconian measures effectively nullifies all civil liberties the people may hope to hold;

Whereas, the codification of such draconian measures are the last act in the quest to hold a people captive to the rapacious will of their government without recourse;

And whereas, the codification of such draconian measures is an act of war against the populous at large;

Therefore, be it declared that a STATE OF WAR formally exists between the Government of these United States and the People of these United States.

We, the People of these United States, declare any and all attempts to enforce the provisions of HR 1540 to be unlawful, void, and of no force.

We, declare ALL WHO voted in favor of HR 1540, and ALL WHO attempt to enforce HR 1540 to be traitors to these United States, punishable under law.

We, SHALL DISOBEY, APPREHEND, OR RESIST WITH DEADLY FORCE, in our discretion, any person who attempts to enforce the provisions of HR 1540.

We, SHALL NOT aggress against any employee of any American government who shall not attempt to enforce or aid and abet the enforcement of HR 1540, they being as trapped as the rest of the populous.

Such STATE OF WAR shall continue until HR 1540 is stricken from the code of law, and all who had hand in HR 1540 are brought to justice under due process of law.

Signed and witnessed by we, the individual citizens of these United States, below:

Kdzu