Monday, October 31, 2011

Monday Evening the Grotto means surfing the interwebz since Dish Network has hundreds of channels but nothing worth watching unless you pay extra, and I'm such a skinflint that ain't gonna happen.

Found this browsing through

Bill of No Rights. By Lewis Napper
© by Lewis Napper

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen color TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone—not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and kill you.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don’t have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you’d like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don’t have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness—which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

I kinda think these ten should have been appended to the original from the get go.

Maybe then there would have been less temptation to spin that precious document.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

For those who aren't aware

For those who might have never had this experience come up.... a word of wisdom.

Never mistake a laxative pill for your allergy pill.........(especially since you had already taken one Senacot that morning),
just before going down to Bonna Bella Yatch Club for an Oyster Roast and Low Country Boil.

Most Especially, if you are going to eat about 3 dozen oysters and then the Boil. There were 400 lbs. of oysters for about 40 people. Even discounting the shells, you do the math.

Nothing holy about the S***s I had this morning.

But the weekend with fellow bird men from a little war game in SE Asia 40 years ago made any discomfort worth it all.

Surprisingly, none of us had changed one bit.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Food For Thought

".....supreme absolute power is originally and ultimately in the people; and they never did in fact freely, nor can they rightfully make an absolute, unlimited renunciation of this divine right.” We the people of these United States are the masters, not the servants to a government which believes it is the sole decider of what powers it will wield. It may be true that the justice system has failed us, that we have no legal means of overturning unconstitutional laws and infringements upon our rights, we do have the right, and the authority, to simply disobey those laws that clearly overstep the express powers granted our government."

James Otis in 1764

When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and its speaker a raving lunatic.”

Dresden James


Love to hear your thoughts.